V1

Counting on the savior

Resting in his love

Trusting in his promises

Yearning for his touch

Ch 1

Faithful to turn around

Every trial and pain

He will not forsake me now

He will live up to his name

Jesus my Rock…I will lean on

V2

The road you have set for me

Has cut me down to size

Misery and suffering

Have stripped away my pride

Ch2

But you’ve been faithful to turn around

Every trial and pain

Please don’t forsake me now

God live up to your name

Jesus my Rock

I will lean on you now

Jesus my Rock…I will lean on

I’ve been reading “Love and War” (a marriage book) by John and Stasi Eldredge.  Excellent read!  I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to hear what two authors who actually live and think like humans (and not some superhero “I’ve got it all figured out” kind of author) have to say about marriage.  It’s interesting because I’ve tried getting into a couple other John Eldredge books and his way of thinking and processing is hard for me to relate to usually.  But this book…grand slam in my opinion.  Maybe it’s his better half coming through.

My wife and I have liked “Love and War” so much, we actually decided to start a study on it with the home group that meets at our house.  It really is refreshing to listen to other couples, and personally hear their triumphs and struggles.  It’s a safe place for us to lean on other believers and to spur each other on in our human/spirit battle.

All this being said…God has really been speaking to me.  One of the questions brought up in group time was “What in your life needs to be cut out in order for you to be able to give your marriage all you can?”.  Almost immediately I felt God telling me to cut out alone time television watching.  Which might be no big deal to some…but my little artsy brain doesn’t seem to function at full capacity unless I have some total veg. time at some point in the day.  It doesn’t have to be long, but usually just time to watch other people in the daily grind (even if it is only acting) does the trick.  So naturally, I was reluctant.  But I made the decision to give it a try.

Anyways, during this time, God’s been revealing to me areas of my heart that have gone numb…or where I’ve become desensitized because of television. I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I had thought about suggesting that we not watch shows like “Dancing with the Stars” when winding down at the end of a long hard day.  There once was a time in my life where I would refuse to watch anything with a woman so immodestly dressed.  Now it just seems like it’s a normal part of our society…even our Christian society…even my Christian home.

When I realized just how bad it had gotten, the thought came to mind “I wonder how many people have turned completely away from God, did something stupid like have an affair, and the root cause when traced back was something even more STUPID like television”.  I don’t want that to be me.  I want to feel the Holy Spirit nudging me.  I want my head to be clear…for my eyes to bounce when I see a woman (in real life or on television) who is even slightly immodest.  I heard a preacher once say, “Satan doesn’t show up on your doorstep with horns and a pitchfork.  He slowly lulls your senses to sleep with the normal things of life.”

TV certainly seems to be the loophole that Satan has been using to infiltrate my home to cause me to become numb.  It’s been 5 days since I’ve cut out television from my alone time.  IT HAS BEEN GREAT!!! God has not only given me the grace to survive it, but to feel a sense of freedom from it.  To feel like I can actually accomplish tasks during my day. To not feel an overwhelming sense of temptation to sin with my eyes all day everyday.  How odd…the one thing I thought was keeping me sane was really making me numb…insanely numb.

Surrender’s message most likely came from things learned in my time with Teen Mania Ministries a decade ago (OH MY GOODNESS…that sounds so long).  One of the biggest recurring themes for me in my time there was that God’s ways are higher than mine and his plan doesn’t always agree with mine. And when it does not, I have the choice to either follow and obey, or to fail (aka: do what I want to do).

I think the enticing thing about doing what we want to do rather than what God wants us to do is that our way usually seems far easier.  And with the incorrect understanding of God and prosperity, I thought God’s will was revealed by whichever path seemed easier or more natural.  Clearly I had some unlearning to do.  Actually I’m still unlearning.  I often feel like I’m in elementary school (figuratively speaking) when it comes to trusting the path that God lays out…especially when it is not the path that seems more natural.

This is where surrender comes in.  It is the ultimate declaration that I truly believe in God’s love for me.  Essentially when we surrender, we say that we don’t understand this direction that God is taking us.  And for those who are new to this faith in God, we have to rely on merely a SENSE that we can trust in him. BUT…those of us who are mature in our faith know that he has ALWAYS brought us to a better place in life when we chose to trust in him.  In other words, as we get older and look back, we can tally the times we went our way and the times we went God’s way.  And we will see that EVERY time we went our way, we set ourselves back from the blessings God had in store.  And EVERY time we trusted God’s way, we eventually reaped a reward that was far beyond what we imagined.

See I actually do believe in prosperity.  But my understanding of God’s prosperity growing up was that, since I am a follower of God, his path would be the path of instant gratification. Because after all…he is a father who longs to give his children good gifts. Just to clarify, I’m not saying that this is what I was taught, merely it was my understanding. The unlearning came when I realized that God’s path is often the path of delayed gratification.  So at first unlearning required blind faith.  Just relying on this sense that I could trust him.  Eventually though…as I matured in my faith, I came to see that God’s track record was PERFECT!

I believe that IF (and that’s a big “IF”) we keep score (intentionally think about God’s faithfulness through the years), we will surely come to a point that we find perfect peace.  We can actually trust him with confidence!  He IS good all the time…even when his way seems long, dark, and just plain hard.